Bloopers
by Oceanwind
Summary: A small collection of one shots and insights to Zoro and Nami's relationship. Fluffy goodies inside, with tons of awkward situations for the swordsman that has him realizing that he actually might be in deeper than he ever expected. Just one kiss won't kill him... right?
1. Soap and Changes

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece**

**A/N: **_I would view these as deleted scenes. They are here for your enjoyment. I may or may not add to this over time. It depends… but they'll all probably be around this length if I do ever add to it. _

**Bloopers**

**Soap**

Zoro froze as Nami stirred. He cringed slightly and realized that if she woke up she would see him posed in this ridiculous outfit standing over her. No doubt she would scream… and then everyone else would see what a push over he was just for her… and the small doctor. This was Chopper's idea after all and he wasn't exactly sure how the reindeer had managed to talk him into this. Sure they were sneaking around but ninja suits? Surely the small doctor knew how to play to Zoro's weakness for him.

Chopper loudly dropped the bucket of soap he had been holding.

"SHHHHHHH!" Chopper squeaked as if Zoro had made the noise.

"Shut up you moron!" Zoro hissed as Nami stirred again. She simply rolled over though, blissfully aware of the presence of her two devious friends.

"Don't talk to me that way Zoro. I don't have to help you proclaim your love-"

Zoro clamped his hand firmly over the small reindeer's mouth and glared at him. Sometimes his small friend could take things a little bit too far.

"I never said the word love," he hissed gruffly before dropping him and not caring about the dull thump he produced. Nami slept just as deeply now as she did after her post sex sleep. He should be thankful that he had convinced Sanji to give her a few extra glasses of wine. Although normally he would never put faith in alcohol to subdue her he could safely say that he was sure she wasn't suspicious of it tonight. She trusted all of her friends so she had no reason to not drink without abandon. Still as she flipped restlessly in her bed he couldn't help but be on edge. If she woke up things would not go over very well.

"Just hurry up," he grumbled. Chopper jumped back onto his shoulders with a bar of soap in his hands and dutifully began drawing on her mirror. Little hearts with witches flying on tiny brooms filled the mirror. He had a sinking feeling this wasn't going to work out as well as he planned…

**Changes**

"It's been a while," he mumbled his eyes peacefully closed. He didn't seem to want to look at her and she felt somewhat offended. This much time apart and he didn't want to look at her? Didn't he want to see how much she had changed?

"How is it that I beat the navigator here?" he asked a smirk lighting up on his lips as he opened his unscarred eye to look at her appreciatively.

"I'm here, right on time," she growled crossing her arms in front of her.

She would have missed it had she not been searching his face. She was memorized by the changes, the muscles, and the scar. A small blush stole over his face. She smirked as she noticed where his eye traveled. It had been a while but Zoro still wasn't discrete when it came to his attraction to her.

Leaning forward she cupped his check, rubbing the scar tenderly with her thumb. A frown stole over her lips.

"If Chopper had been there…"

"He wasn't though," he snapped pulling out of her grip. "I don't mind it."

She turned away, typical of Zoro to ruin a moment between them. Not like she hadn't ruined plenty herself, but that was beside the matter. She was just about to turn and leave but something froze her in her place. It was silent, almost lighter than the wind, but her body had gone through enough training to catch even the slightest differences in the air. She heard the breath leave him as he said something lowly.

"I just wish I still had it to see you better," he mumbled under his breath.

She felt a blush steal over her face. She knew she was attractive and that Zoro appreciated her body but it still made her feel weird to hear him say something like that. Since when was Zoro ever ashamed of a scar? He wasn't and she knew it. He wasn't at all bitter about it. He knew how she felt about his scars. She just didn't like the thought of him being hurt. That was the only cause of her displeasure of seeing his permanently shut eye.

"Scars are sexy," she said just as lowly as he did and turned ever so slightly to see his face light up a bright red. She winked over her shoulder as she strode away.

"I'll go wait in a bar for Luffy," she said absently when she realized he might want to know why she was leaving. She wanted to wait for her captain, and sitting here with Zoro would never be the same as actually trying to do something for herself.

Some changes were not so bad. Maybe this time around they'd actually get together.

* * *

**A/N: **_I know it's kind of unusual but I included two chapters in one. I mean you can't really call them chapters… more like mini rants on the verge of being a chapter. They were both so short and I am not sure if I'm going to add any more to this so I decided to give you guys both. The title will remain Bloopers since the first piece is technically from Darkest Kiss, it just didn't make the cut to the story. I was fond of it though so now here it is. The second one was something I randomly wrote forever ago with the straw hat reunion… it's over used in my opinion but it's here anyways… Okay I'll shut up now :p. _


	2. Part 3 and one half

**Bloopers**

**Part 3 and one half**

"UGH… let's go over this slowly. You're supposed to kiss him!" I snap impatiently completely missing the point of the first part of my sentence and getting directly to the heart of the matter rather bluntly.

"I'm trying. Stop staring at me with those starry eyes and maybe I'll do it correctly," Nami growls a large blush forming on her cheeks. I roll my eyes at her antics before leaning back in my chair. I take a deep breath and wait for her to collect herself again.

"WITH PASSION THIS TIME! ACTION!"

Hi everyone! Before you guys get confused it is me, your friendly neighborhood author Oceanwind! I know what you're thinking… what the hell right? Maybe not… but I would be thinking that. Don't worry this isn't a self-insert at all. I'm just toying with my directing skills and giving you guys a peak at a few behind the scenes stuff. You don't understand? Let me explain this as painlessly as possible? Hopefully?

Okay, I might be pretty damn weird. I have a mild case of A.D.D (I know a lot of people claim to have this but honestly guys, I am cursed with it) and my brain functions at a slightly different level. Like I can connect all the strings but it either takes me awhile because my brain likes to pit stop or I jump to a wrong conclusion and just blurt out a scientific answer OMEGA'S ARE GOOD FOR YOUR SKIN and HAIR! like that… although that wasn't very science-likey.

Back to my point that I was trying to make (can you guys see the A.D.D now?). While writing a story I general act out scenes in my head. It plays like a movie. I stare at the computer scene, while my fingers type out every thought and jumbled phrase passing through my mind. I check my work so many times that it is ridiculous but it is to check for all the errors and try to slow down on a level that can be followed by other people. Looking back at my first works on this site compared to now is simply amazing for me. I don't know how any of you followed my thoughts back then XD.

"HELLLOOOO. Ocean-chan?" Nami bites waving a hand dangerously close to my face.

"Er right."

I'm supposed to be explaining this scene right? Well it's a direct cut from inside my mind. The way I play with the characters and yell at them to ACT NATURALLY before writing out a scene. I don't like them seeming all choppy and fake. So sometimes I gave them some coaching, you know, like directors do. Just a gentle push in the right direction to bring out their amazing acting skills or maybe set the scene with a beautiful description of the background or their current situation. No matter what I'm always in the one piece world, using that art a steady background without really describing it.

"You're supposed to hold her like this, idiot," I snapped slapping Zoro's hands and pushing Nami closer to his chest. Fed up with the two of them I paused their pathetic acting attempts with a frustrated growl and stood menacingly over them (or as menacingly as I can get…). He gives me a death glare, but somehow I've become rather immune to them. I don't think he minds my toying with his character when he gets to feel up the gorgeous red head and kiss her as much I deem fit. I kind of like having that type of—

Aosdijfldxjx xa

Ow

"ARE YOU GOING TO TELL THEM WE ARE READING THIS OVER YOUR SHOULDER!" Nami screeches in my ear leaning over me to slam the computer down after banging my head roughly against my desk.

"I was getting to that," I huffed defensively.

Right, these guys yell at me if I do a horrible job and give them complete injustice to their character. Still I find it hard to thrust these two into a romance. I might try my hand at it one day, but for now these two will remain my little to—

"I wouldn't finish that thought, author," Zoro growls darkly causing me to jump in my seat slightly as he glares at the scene over my shoulder.

Erm… right. Anyways… did I say I was immune to Zoro's death glares? I think I should retract that statement.

"Take it from the top you two," I lazily wave them back towards their chairs and pull the scripts from their hands. "And please with passion!"

Zoro grabs Nami's hands and pulls her to his chest. They are out on the deck, the rain starts sprinkling dramatically around them. I lean on the edge of my seat mouthing the words I had memorized just moments before.

"I don't care what this crazed author says or makes me do. I love you," Zoro barks roughly before slamming his lips unto Nami's. Her eyes pop open wide before she relaxes into the kiss and returns the swordsman feverish kiss.

"CUT!"

Zoro stumbles and he and Nami fall to the ground. Nami landing gracefully on his muscular chest as his hands circle protectively around her. As cute as the two of them getting tangled is to me I storm over to them.

"What the hell was that? That wasn't in the script!"

"Ah, screw you," Zoro hisses and waves me off, catching Nami's lips again before the navigator can do anything otherwise.

"Um.. guys?"

Nothing but intense making out as the two switch positions with Zoro on top and aggressively deepening the kiss…

"GUYS! OUR READERS?! They wanted an update!"

…

"WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN! THEY CAN'T SEE THIS!"

I finally just give up and leave them, aware that both are horribly out of character and just giving into their passion right there on Sunny's deck.

Well there you have it everyone. A dangerous peak inside the madness of my mind during a romantic-_ish_ (let me stress the _**ish**_) scene was just given to fanfiction reader's everywhere. Which is what earned this little shot on the Bloopers reel. Bye for now~

* * *

**A/N:** _... I'm very aware that this is just weird XD. _


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